When do you jump from a sinking ship?

This is the question we're asking ourselves lately. Apparently there is not a clear answer. Our dutch house continues to give us a bit of stress and confusion. I have written letters, emails, made phone calls-- and our friends the Grefhorsts have also called and had in-person appointments-- but our bank says they will not let us rent the house. I called last week after talking to some Dutch friends for advice, to try to help the bank understand the gravity of the situation. I explained over and over again that we will not be able to make the mortgage payments in the near future. I am actually surprised that we have been able to pay rent and a mortgage for 8 months. I thought they would have some interest in helping us keep the house. I hoped this would encourage them to let us rent. But they made it very clear that they are not interested.
I was surprised because I thought they would care-- I realize it is a business, but at least I thought they had an interest in helping us avoid forclosure. I found out, however, that the bank does not have any incentive for helping us avoid forclosure. I spoke to a good friend and she told us what we can expect to happen. She said the bank has no real incentive to let us rent. As I have mentioned here previously, it can be a risk-- but of course people do rent in the Netherlands without always taking advantage of the situation. Instead, what will happen is that the bank will take our house after 2 months of failing to pay, then they will sell it for a really low price to get rid of it. So, for example our mortgage is 120,000 euros, they will sell it for about 70,000 euros and bill us for the remaining 50,000 euros. Then we are (naturally) declared bankrupt and they have insurance or whatever to protect them against that balance of 50,000 Euros. We, however, still are obliged to pay this sum-- and it shows up on our records for the rest of time.
I have spent months trying to figure out how to solve this problem. I have tried agencies that help people in trouble-- the ones in the US don't help if the property is foreign, the ones in the Netherlands don't help if you work in another country. I have tried everything with the bank, but it is clear they cannot/will not help. I have spent weeks not sleeping, and generally freaking out about it, but after this weekend I think I am okay with whatever happens, on some level. I think for a while I held on to the belief that if I just showed them how desperately we needed it, they would let us rent. I had to let that dream die this weekend.
Now the big question is when do you jump from a sinking ship? At what point do we just close the door on what is going on there and try to move on/deal with the consequences. Any advice would be appreciated.

With all that sadness we still have some great things to look forward to. I leave on Wednesday to defend my dissertation, and hopefully come home a Doctor. Mike is taking the boys to meet Aunt Madeline and Uncle Bill + boys at the beach, and I think it will be great for them to get away and see some family. We are really excited about being here and starting the Fall. Mike has been accepted to the program in Engineering at the University of Hartford-- his tuition is free b/c of being family of a faculty member. He wants to pursue Architecture, but needs to take some undergraduate math to qualify. We're not sure if he is going to be taking a class this term or not-- it depends on scheduling and his work obligations.

The boys are doing so well. Will has definitely shifted from "baby" to "boy" in the last weeks. he is starting to do some really funny stuff-- things that give us a glimpse of the little personality that is in there. James is also flourishing. His new teachers came by to meet us at home last week. They seem really nice. He continues to crack us up with what he says and does. He has recently started preceding statements with "actually" -- it is pretty cute.